Ian Miles Cheong was once approached by the X-Men because they thought he had the mutant power to dry up any moisture before they realized that he was, in fact, devoid of the x gene and was just that bad with women
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That's right boys and girls this train ain't done yet, I'm in a dunking mood Some of these jokes may not stick the landing, but that's okay, Ian has owned himself so often that one bad joke will just got lost in his constant accidental self-flagellation
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Ian Miles Cheong permanently has the same kind of sunken expression you usually only see on a teenage boy who just found out that his sex line chats show up on the phone bill his parents pay
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Ian Miles Cheong looks like the exact, and I mean POLAR opposite of the Dreamworks Face, and you know exactly the expression I'm talking about
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Ian Miles Cheong exists in this weird space between "obsessed enough with his masculinity to be unironically swayed by Old Spice marketing" and "too racist to buy Old Spice because they've been using Terry Crews and Isaiah Mustafa as spokespeople"
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Ian Miles Cheong is the only person I've ever looked at and thought "he'd be way better off if he just grew out a patchy mess of facial bramble on his cheeks and neck instead of what he's currently doing"
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Call me Rich Homie Quan... if you thought I was done going in, you are sadly mistaken, as going in is my biological need regardless of critical acclaim (or lack thereof)
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Ian Miles Cheong not only can't find Stair Roof 1 Access, he probably doesn't believe it exists (Hopefully not digging too deep with that one)
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I'm not actually that worried about Ian or any of his fans finding this thread, historically speaking Ian would just roll a 1 on his to-hit and own himself with his own quote-RT while his fanboys bleat buzzwords at me
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Anyway I'm going to end this with the most brutal own I can think of which isn't even a joke but the frequently cited trivia factoid that Ian Miles Cheong literally writes a column called "Incel Corner" ("incel" meaning "can't even pay a hooker for a pity fuck")
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This is a man who writes angry wingding screeds about ethics in video games for a nazi he claimed to hate in a column that openly mocks his own lack of ability to do the one thing he thinks men were born to do And he looks like a wheezy mouthbreather
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