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Jan 29, 2018

When I turned 40, I built a musical #LifeMix. One song released during each year on Earth. No repeating artists. Each song should evoke a memory or an atmosphere from the past. Recently revisited and updated it, I HIGHLY recommend making your own. Fantastic personal perspective.

Mars Blackmon can still get some air. #Oscars

A deserved animated win, but man, Spiderverse should've been a Best Picture nominee, too. It's that good. #Oscars

This hair and makeup acceptance speech is a microcosm of every #Oscars planning meeting this year.

There was no way that the Free Solo crew was going to get through that speech bleep-free. #Oscars

Do you not miss Freddie Mercury enough? The #Oscars is here to loudly remind you why you should.

Feb 19, 2019

Now we're digging up 48-year-old John Wayne interviews just to find something to be angry about? Twitter needs a hug and a nap.

Feb 18, 2019

Malia Obama had a glass of wine at age 20? *gasp* *clutches pearls* If she had started three years earlier, she might have qualified for the U.S. Supreme Court someday.

Feb 14, 2019

It's our fault they can't call it the Quiet Room anymore. #ARLegValentines

Feb 14, 2019

You want to get together later and consolidate our agencies? #ArLegValentines

Feb 14, 2019

I'll wait as long as it takes to legally cultivate my love for you. #ArLegValentines

Feb 13, 2019

I'd like to think that the

@NASA

Opportunity rover isn't dead, but instead has stopped answering the phone to relax and retire after a 15-year Mars career.

Feb 11, 2019

I've finally seen the video of

@brandicarlile

's #GRAMMYs performance and it includes a crowd cutaway shot of

@AshleyMcBryde

. Ladies! You must find each other and jam sometime. I can only imagine the music that would emerge.

Feb 11, 2019

I'm happy to be in a world today where millions of people are discovering who

@brandicarlile

is. I knew more people had good musical taste besides me and

Dammit, people. Just... dammit. This guy clearly doesn't represent all of

@Delta

, but hopefully they'll take action here. We need smart people like this to keep coming here, not to be afraid of landing at XNA. twitter.com/KhaledBeydoun/

This Tweet is unavailable.

It's #worldcancerday2019 but I'm not telling my cancer because I don't want it throwing any loud parties in there.

In its continued attempt to cater to an international audience, the NFL staged a soccer match tonight. Punts = Goalie kicks. #SuperBowl

This show would have redeemed itself if it had just stayed a Spongebob cartoon for the remainder of halftime. #SuperBowl

In a parallel universe, the Chiefs and Saints are tied at 17 and we're about to watch Kendrick Lamar and Chris Stapleton perform. #SuperBowl

101

Cross-promoting

and Bud Light is like mixing Hamlet with 50 Shades of Gray. #SuperBowl

Feb 2, 2019

You have to credit Punxsutawney for keeping this going so long. A marmot with a 39% accuracy rate still makes international headlines every year. A quarter flip has a 50% accuracy rate. 39% is Jim Cramer bad. #GroundhogDay

Hughes: Why Schultz tuned out and sold out the Sonics

Jan 31, 2019

Learned that The Room Where It Happens makes a turbulent plane landing more rhythmic. Also, still my favorite surprise banjo line in any recent song.

While still not wanting to wade into 2020 politics this year, I do feel compelled to post this 2006 article about Howard Schultz, the man responsible for Seattle losing our beloved #SuperSonics.

espn.com

Five years ago, Starbucks magnate Howard Schultz was in love with the SuperSonics. Now he's tossing them away like an old toy, writes Frank Hughes.

Jan 26, 2019

We live in a country where a candidate for president in November 2020 announced their candidacy AND dropped out of the race, both in January 2019. Stop this madness.

Jan 23, 2019

Cancer has me back in the hospital. But this time, that's good news. Let's go to trial. decample.tumblr.com/post/182246198

FINALLY. #EdgarHOF is a reality. I don't know if I've ever watched a better pure hitter than Edgar Martinez. And he did some of that without actual knees. #TrueToTheBlue

How badly is Trump's shutdown endangering Americans? Just ask FBI agents.

Quote Tweet

David Rohde

@RohdeD

FBI Agents Association releases 72-page report detailing how shutdown is dangerously slowing counter-terrorism, child abuse, & gang investigations. "We have lost several sources who have worked for months, and years, to penetrate groups & target subjects." fbiaa.org/sites/default/

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Won't You Be My Neighbor?, three days after winning the Producers Guild of America award for Best Documentary, gets left out of the Oscars. Mr. Rogers wouldn't want me to get angry, but BOOOOO. #OscarNoms

Adam Driver!! A well-earned nomination for a great performance in approximately his 4,291st supporting film role. #OscarNoms

Tony Romo's Psychic Gameplay Predictions Blew Minds During Patriots-Chiefs Game - Maxim

Jan 21, 2019

Thanks to my Tony Romo tweet, I've now been published on Maxim's website. Time to update the resume'.

maxim.com

Just call him Romo-stradamus.

Jan 21, 2019

NFL analysis skill levels: Tony Romo - Calls plays before they happen. Points things out after plays before they can even cue up a replay. Troy Aikman - Gets most of the players' names right. Sometimes knows what down it is. Cris Collinsworth - Creepy uncle.

624

2,813

Jan 21, 2019

When no one will help you beat that Super Hard level on Candy Crush. #AFCChampionship

GIF

Jan 20, 2019

Remember that (intentionally) ridiculous

@BWWings

ad where they turn on the sprinklers to trip a receiver and send the game into overtime? That is a straight-line equivalent to the non-call of two penalties in one play. #LARvsNO #NFCChampionshipGame

Jan 18, 2019

Just negotiated another year of Comcast service without anyone raising their voice. I am now qualified to be a U.S. Ambassador.