"How can you not know where the stop cocks are" Mate, I'm a fucking political journalist, not a plumber.
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He just barked "Yessss you bitch" which I'm taking to be a good sign
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I have no idea what is happening but apparently repeatedly slamming and opening cupboards is essential
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He's gone, and as instructed I called his manager and rated him 10/10 because the tap works perfectly and I haven't laughed so much in weeks.
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I should also point out I offered him tea or coffee and he declined because he "hates hot things." Umm....
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End of conversation
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msdawnfoster@gmail.com Tusk is the best Fleetwood Mac album. Only care about LFC.