Me: [Has a seizure, cuts head open, regains consciousness in time to put out a small kitchen fire] Please buy a fire extinguisher or fire blanket Fucking indefatigable mind-numbingly boring centrist dads:pic.twitter.com/alshZoc4JO
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That’s good but it’s very, very hard on you.
I remember in the olden days we toasted our bread at the coal fire. The hand would be burned off you and I often wonder how it didn’t poison us. You could use your grill if the toaster is fucked. I’d love to mind you. 
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