“What’s the wankiest sounding thing I can put in my bio?” 
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Mine says "Buffy fan" but really it's only wanky cause I put it last instead of first

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fun bio for a dude who gathered opposition research on a graduate student
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"oh, you got a porche to deal with your mid-life crisis? well wait till u read my twitter bio"
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But mainly Scottish and writer of historically dubious bollocks, such as Empire where he tells everyone imperialism was a good thing and rather downplays all the violence inflicted by the British and several famines.
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Empire is full of wobbly defenses of imperialism of the kind any imbecile could trot out. "Yes, but thanks to colonialism you can now get pastries in Saigon every bit as good as those in Paris!" See, easy. I now demand a book deal.
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The shame I felt when I realised he was Scottish. Indescribable.
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Treat him like any other balloon. Pin.
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He was referred to as a ‘celebrity historian’ at my old uni.
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msdawnfoster@gmail.com Tusk is the best Fleetwood Mac album. Only care about LFC.