Context matters, and tbh “usually” is accurate in my experience. When a random dude compliments my looks, sometimes it’s in a nice way that doesn’t creep me out — but USUALLY it’s not. I USUALLY think twice about drink invites that don’t come from a trusted male friend.https://twitter.com/CathyYoung63/status/932663061017751553 …
-
-
Is it? It goes for both sexes. As a general rule, pretty people can get away with a lot, which often leads to confusion about norms. Denying that seems silly. Incels just use it as an excuse for their shitty personalities and abusive behavior.
-
That is true generally, but it’s not true enough to be made as a blanket statement about harassment. It’s those contexts specifically that incels focus on
-
Thanks for this thread btw, I knew this kind of sentiment bugged me but hadn’t yet clarified for myself exactly why
-
Yeah. Maybe it's a bit of insufferable Holden Caulfieldism in me, but whenever I hear some dude tell a barista "i like your hair" i want to shout "you f'ing phony. She's cute, you know it and she does too, you don't give a damn about her hair, and this is all a social convention"
-
But also I think the slightly better response there is “ugh that dude is being lowkey creepy, why do men do this when they know they’re not fooling anyone”
-
Yeah but here's where we disagree maybe: "i like your hair" comes off as a charming or low-key creepy depending entirely on context, tone, and who is saying it to whom. There are so many unwritten rules to navigate, and not everyone has the roadmap.
-
I do hear that. I still think that while this can be a thing, it’s not as big a thing in practice as many assume. Again, we can tell the difference between dense, even irritating, and predatory.
- 1 more reply
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

