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  1. Pinned Tweet
    25 Sep 2018

    . since you enjoy the sound of the whole world laughing at you, let me send you my book “He Started It! My Twitter War With Trump.” The only book u can take credit for co-writing! (With ) Which golf course should I send it to?

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  2. Retweeted

    Promises from leaders still matter in America. said Mexico would pay for a wall. There’s zero evidence Mexico is paying for a wall. Evidence also still matters. So what we have is an attempt to swindle you into paying for a wall. That we don’t need.

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  4. The reason feels the need to explain that you can't see through a concrete wall is because this realization just occurred to him. I want to make sure that as we focus on his amorality & racism we never lose sight of his defining quality: Profound stupidity.

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  5. Retweeted
    17 hours ago

    Trump says you don't even need to call his border project a wall. "You could call it a steel fence." Flashback to 2015:

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  6. Jan 3

    Yo, , you really put the "brief" in briefing. You ran away so fast I thought it might be drizzling in there!

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  7. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    Who needs General Mattis when you are such an accomplished student of military history?

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  8. Jan 3

    OH MY GOD! THIS VIDEO TOTALLY DISQUALIFIES FROM EVER BECOMING THE MAYOR OF THAT TOWN IN "FOOTLOOSE!"

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  9. Jan 2

    Thanks for sharing this. I hope our newly elected house majority reads this as well.

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  10. Retweeted
    Jan 2

    R.I.P. My dear brother Bob Einstein. A great brother, father and husband. A brilliantly funny man. You will be missed forever.

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  11. Dec 31

    "Fuckin' nailed it!" - Ryan Seacrest watching himself on the west coast feed.

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  12. 28 Dec 2018

    I’d like to thank , (a man who spent 154 of his 707 days in office on vacation, more than any president in history, costing taxpayers around 100 million dollars) for selflessly sacrificing his holiday trip to Florida to continue working (tweeting)

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  13. 25 Dec 2018

    One of my favorite holiday photos. My son looks like he just got off the phone with .

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  14. 25 Dec 2018
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  15. 24 Dec 2018

    I guess the three ghosts scheduled to visit him must be running a little late.

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  16. 24 Dec 2018

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatevs just stop bogarting the Adderall, dude.

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  17. Retweeted
    21 Dec 2018

    Highlights of -Legends , , buying in ridiculously deep! - and Hellmuth fistbumps! -Presents for players who lose pots! -Uncle Ron taking a Polaroid photo of as he says "Call" to pick off a bluff!

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  18. 21 Dec 2018

    That I have any chips at all playing with is a personal victory.

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  19. Retweeted
    21 Dec 2018
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  20. 21 Dec 2018

    Imma bout to play poker with the best players in the world. I like my chances!

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  21. 21 Dec 2018

    “We’re gonna build a wall and who’s gonna pay for it?” “800,000 federal employees who won’t be getting paychecks this Christmas!”

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