feeling really wonderful today enjoying a really deep appreciation for a sense of friendship that I’ve started to reclaim in my life for the first time in many years
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so in love with honesty so much faith in honesty especially with myself, it has been so tempting to hide but it’s amazing the way it moves me to be seen with my own eyes but also by others. every little leap of faith I take I fear a hard fall but I’m rarely disappointed lately
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there is so much to be done all the time to keep things from being messy but I’m just beginning to have this crackling energy around the idea that maybe I can drop it all and just love whatever mess that makes
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I’ve held on to a childish stubbornness, bored of a life that never challenges me but also unwilling to play games I might lose badly I’ve been educated into a new childish stubbornness where I value my right to be foolish highly & am willing to admit I’m a great loser actually
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since clown school (since forever maybe) my identity has been in a liminal space but my Fool is ever bolder and bolder to my Fool, (& to Chesterton) anything worth doing is worth doing poorly & the things that are the most worth doing are the most worth crashing and burning for
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Replying to @maybegray
wait you literally went to a clown school haha
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