9/ It's a part of who I am but I've never wanted people to be like "you know, that trans woman" instead of "that product lady" or "that tall blonde girl" or "that weirdo techie author" or "that chick who won't shut up about her personal life" It's just one aspect of who I am
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10/ So in part it's because I'm ashamed about it but in part it's also because I'm never going to be someone who makes this what her identity IS even though it is a big part of my past I have lots of feelings about this I want to unpack
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11/ And lately I've been doing all this work with authenticity and vulnerability and opening myself up a lot more and being like "fuck you world, this is me" and it feels totally uncomfortable and disingenuous to do that with everything BUT this...
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12/ I was texting with
@eigenrobot about this earlier and he had very good advice for me and was like "you don't owe anyone anything but also you shouldn't be afraid to talk about it if you want" And I so respect people like@ContraPoints who just LEAN IN and hit the hard topics2 replies 1 retweet 27 likesShow this thread -
13/ I've been thinking a lot lately about how being more open about that could really help me process that shame I still have about it and maybe help other people who are trans and feel shame about it because really I have nothing to be ashamed about and I'm happy with who I am
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14/ One of the reasons I avoid it is because I'm afraid of people being assholes to me. Transitioning even 10 years ago was pretty traumatic for me. I lost at least one really close friend who couldn't deal and I came out at Amazon which didn't even have a process at the time
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15/ And actually, more than anything, I've been floored at how many people were SO MUCH kinder to me throughout the process than I'd expected. My family was so loving and accepting and I had this awesome outpouring of support from lots of people. It was so scary. And embarrassing
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16/ But dating back then, after I split with my ex-wife, was very scary and hard. Trans topics weren't nearly as prevalent as they are now. It's wild to see how much things have changed in even ten years.
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17/ But even in the dating world, I was surprised at how cool a lot of people were. My ex-husband was an amazing gem of a human who always saw me as a woman at a time when most people hadn't even met a trans person ever (that they knew about)
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18/ The first time he ever took me out dancing was the first night I'd ever actually _felt_ feminine and pretty and here I was on this date with a tall, handsome man who was so into me, and it's such a special memory for me. I saw myself through his eyes and felt beautiful.
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