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The sequel to The Quiet Place takes place at George and Kellyanne Conway’s dining room table.
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Oh my god the Amy Klobuchar volunteer standing behind her is more sure of her candidate than I’ve been of anything in my life.
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Funny that Rachel Maddow should use the word “sentient” to describe Lev Parnas’ lawyer.pic.twitter.com/jeLesydMAu
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Who else had assumed Lev Parnas was going to speak with a thick “get moose and squirrel” accent?
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Danielle Koenig proslijedio/la je Tweet
BARK! Tomorrow! New Year's Laugh!
@mariabamfoo@NeNeGooter@pauldanke@jamesfritzcomic@DanielleBKoenig@NatBaimel Barkley SoPas8pmpic.twitter.com/DUcguyFXn9
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If there’s a more apropos use of a shuttered Kmart, I certainly can’t think of it.
#ilovebritneypic.twitter.com/BGdowgFbod
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I have a ponytail holder in the pocket of every jacket and pair of pants that I own. What I’m saying is, if the shit goes down, I’m flush in ponytail holders.
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Pro tip: Get a jump on the New Year. Start gathering your personal anecdotes about old famous people now so that when they die, you can make it about you ASAP.
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I just hurriedly brushed my teeth while peeing and now I’m ready for my own romcom.
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Danielle Koenig proslijedio/la je Tweet
knock knock
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Danielle Koenig proslijedio/la je Tweet
Garfield - Jellicle Nermal - Not Jellicle Heathcliff - Jellicle Felix - Jellicle AF Lion-0 - Not Jellicle MC Skat Kat - Jellicle Fritz - SO FREAKING JELLICLE Slimer - Maybe Jellicle? Catbert - Not Even Slightly Jellicle Kat Dennings - 2 Broke Jellicle
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Uncut Gems has made me hate gems, uncut and otherwise, the Celtics, The Weeknd and weekends.
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Danielle Koenig proslijedio/la je Tweet
I wrote a movie where Taylor Swift shits in a box, but I guess CATS beat me to it...
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It’s fun to imagine whoever wrote the letter reading it back to Trump and losing his attention to a particularly cool pop-up Xmas card.
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Danielle Koenig proslijedio/la je Tweet
Fun fact about the Salem Witch Trials: Its most immortal dramatization, Arthur Miller's "The Crucible," was inspired by the anti-Communist witch hunts of Senator Joe McCarthy, whose henchman Roy Cohn was Trump's mentor.
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What, Ray Liotta isn't worthy of having his face CGI's for three hours?
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Who else was shocked that Trump's letter wasn't written in Magic Marker?
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Eric Swalwell to Republican reps re: Trump: He’s not the guy you want him to be! Me to myself re: every boyfriend before my husband: Same.
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Apparently, historical fiction is filled with women who won’t face front.pic.twitter.com/QHuOfo7Ez2
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