You are so old
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After only one late night trip to the ER, "You'll poke your eye out!" & "Stop jumping on the bed!" are the only things I say around kids nowadays. It's not that I care about their safety - it's that you just can't get a good night's sleep in an ER with a wailing kid in your arms.
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(Not exactly one single true story based on one event, but after enduring one night in an ER waiting room, I'm tempted to use any/every lame parental, societal, and/or religious mind-control phrase in the book to prevent having to do that again.)
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