Captain Daggers McTimbers  🏳️‍🌈 🗡

18 or so months after leaving my physically and emotionally abusive fiance, I discovered my engagement ring, still in its box, hidden away with some other belongings. I had stashed it away. I felt a mix of humiliation and pain when I first hid it away. Couldn't look at it.

I got it out again maybe 6 months after breakup. I spent some time looking at and wondered if I could do something meaningful and poetic with it, like toss it into a river in the middle of the night, or throw it into a fire.

Well, here I am, July 2020, engagement ring in the same hand I used to wear it on. Chucked it into the bag full of cat shit that I was holding, and that is the best ending for it, and the best ending for me.

I feel pretty amazing tbh. The progress I've made on that whole thing. From not being able to look at it, to wanting to give it a special send off, to chucking it into literal shit. The key here was patience giving myself time to heal. My agony faded. So will yours

Now this is for others going through similar: You will wrestle with the how's and whys for a long time. That's what really got to me. I couldn't understand how someone, anyone could be so cruel. It ate me up. Drove me mad for months, all the while mourning my heart.