Dad Jokes

@Dadsaysjokes

Best dad jokes on twitter - we’re also on Instagram and Facebook. Order All New Dad Says Jokes on link below.

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Vrijeme pridruživanja: rujan 2017.
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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    18. stu 2019.

    My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.

    1.079 proslijeđenih tweetova 5.737 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  2. prije 17 sati

    My wife said she saw a bowtie made from solid mahogany. She said she nearly bought it for me but she didn't think I would wear it. I replied "Wooden tie?"

    5 replies 39 proslijeđenih tweetova 317 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  3. prije 17 sati

    What do you call a group of mountains? Hilarious.

    1 reply 25 proslijeđenih tweetova 187 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  4. prije 22 sata

    I was driving on the highway with my wife, and she said, “Hey, you missed a right!” I said: “Thanks babe. You MRS Right.”

    5 replies 53 proslijeđena tweeta 412 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 23 sata

    Me saying I didn’t Me at home care about what In bed: they said to me:

    bomboclaat
    165 proslijeđenih tweetova 777 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  6. 3. velj

    Why don't vampires bet on horses? They can’t handle the stakes.

    30 proslijeđenih tweetova 165 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  7. 3. velj

    My wife was disappointed to find out why my nickname in college was "The Love Machine." I sucked at tennis.

    38 proslijeđenih tweetova 247 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  8. 3. velj

    Somebody just threw a jar of mayonnaise at me. I was like: “What the Hellman!”

    11 replies 132 proslijeđena tweeta 688 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  9. 3. velj

    In my career as a lumberjack I cut down exactly 52,487 trees. I know because I kept a log.

    7 replies 72 proslijeđena tweeta 487 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  10. 2. velj

    Thieves stole a truck full of viagra this morning... Police have asked the public to keep an eye out for hardened criminals.

    51 proslijeđeni tweet 276 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  11. 2. velj

    The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.... I heard they’re going to give him a really tough sentence.

    41 proslijeđeni tweet 280 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  12. 2. velj

    If I have twin daughters, I'll name one Kate. And I’ll name the other DupliKate.

    6 replies 128 proslijeđenih tweetova 714 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  13. 2. velj

    All my friends think I’m weird for constantly eating ham and pineapple sandwiches. But hey, that Hawaii roll.

    16 proslijeđenih tweetova 110 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  14. 2. velj

    If you’re attacked by a mob of clowns... Go for the juggler.

    35 proslijeđenih tweetova 196 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  15. 2. velj

    I think my phone is broken... I pressed the home button and I’m still at work.

    1 reply 76 proslijeđenih tweetova 327 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  16. 2. velj

    My great uncle died making butter on his farm last week. It was a really unfortunate churn of events.

    22 proslijeđena tweeta 141 korisnik označava da mu se sviđa
    Poništi
  17. 2. velj

    Me and my mates are in a band called Duvet. We’re a cover band.

    13 replies 80 proslijeđenih tweetova 404 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  18. 1. velj

    What do you call a bunch of crows inside a tent? Murder within tent.

    27 proslijeđenih tweetova 176 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  19. 1. velj

    Did you know that 97% of the world is stupid? Luckily I’m in the other 5%.

    5 replies 132 proslijeđena tweeta 830 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  20. 1. velj

    I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred. All of them replied: “How the hell did you get in here?”

    1 reply 42 proslijeđena tweeta 328 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
    Poništi
  21. 1. velj

    I got my best friend a fridge for his birthday. I can’t wait for his face to light up when he opens it.

    55 proslijeđenih tweetova 348 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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