Dad's Puns

@DadsPuns

The old ones are the best...

Vrijeme pridruživanja: rujan 2015.

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  1. prije 3 sata

    Sorry sir, we don't serve time travelers here. A time traveller walks into a bar.

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  2. prije 3 sata

    My son asked me what procrastinate means. I said: “I’ll tell you later.”

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  3. prije 19 sati

    I've just invented a new Golf ball that will go in the hole if it gets within 4 inches. Note to self: Do NOT put them in back pocket.

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  4. 31. sij

    Today's 5km as an inflatable T-Rex for 💛💗⭐ Day 31/366 and that's month one done doing 5km every day and £3000 raised so far! Thank you everyone that's followed and supported me so far 👍😎 Just giving is below 🙈👇😘

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  5. 31. sij

    I could make a million jokes about cash machines I just can't think of one atm.

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  6. 31. sij

    Spent all of my wages on skin cream. Bit of a rash decision!

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  7. 30. sij

    I told my boss I needed a pay rise, I said that 3 other companies were after me Boss "which ones?" I said "the electric, gas, & the water"

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  8. 30. sij

    I can hear opera coming from my wallet.. I think it might be the 3 tenners

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  9. 30. sij

    I always carry a picture of my wife and children in my wallet. It reminds me why there’s no money in there.

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. sij

    They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

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  11. 29. sij

    I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage. The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.

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  12. 29. sij

    My Son asked, “Dad, what are condoms for?” “Usually to avoid answering questions like these.” I replied.

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  13. 28. sij

    Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

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  14. 28. sij

    How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.

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  15. 27. sij

    I use to date a tennis player... But love meant nothing to her.

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  16. 27. sij

    I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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  17. 27. sij

    Went to the gym & there's a new machine. I used it for an hour & felt sick. Its good though, it does everything.. Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers.

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  18. 27. sij

    My mum walked in my room & said.. "You'll go blind if you do that" I was so embarrassed, I dropped my binoculars & missed the eclipse.

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  19. 27. sij

    I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB. That was a trip down memory lane!

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  20. 27. sij

    Some people have difficulties sleeping... but I can do it with my eyes closed.

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