For the fourth consecutive season, I had the AI create a motto for every MLB team.
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Dan Szymborski
@DSzymborski
Senior Writer for FanGraphs, ESPN contributor, data consultant, ZiPSetician, gamer, talkative, exasperated/ing, possibly the worst. BBWAA, Digital Dandy.
Dan Szymborski’s Tweets
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“Randy Johnson collected a stuffed animal for every batter he struck out in his career. Each one has its own name and he knows every, single, name.”
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I'm convinced about a third of a manager's job is basically just to be available for the general manager to fire.
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Shakin It Up Sports is back on from 7-9 pm est tonight! Tune in as we continue to dissect Lamar’s presser from yesterday! We’ll also look at the O’s who are out in Atlanta to take on the Braves. Can they stay hot? joins us at 8! NBA playoffs as well!
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I'm sorry, it's just not a Star Wars related holiday unless Bea Arthur is singing a weird song about closing the cantina for the night.
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I'm accidentally an occasional Red Sox fan this year since ZiPS had Yoshida and Verdugo going 1-2 in the AL in batting average and I'm a really big fan of not looking stupid.
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It was a good time for Triston Casas to have a big game; he was on the verge of being downgraded to Condominios.
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Though not as bad as the time there were some weird charges on my credit card company in Portugal and the customer service agent asked me if I was *sure* I hadn't been in Portugal that morning, like it totally slipped my mind.
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I try not to be a dick to people in customer service, but cable company customer service really tries my patience to the breaking point.
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It took all my decorum to say "Yes, asshole, I just said I rebooted both the modem and the router. No, it's not a problem with my PC. The problem is there with *five* different computers. I'm sitting here reading the tracert with the 200ms jump on YOUR goddamn end."
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I don't know what the purpose of their customer service is if they won't tell me anything useful or do anything useful other than resetting the modem *again* and scheduling an appointment.
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I love how I spend all morning arguing with the cable company about packet loss issues and they claim it's definitely not them and then two hours later, one of their trucks is doing repairs on the street, the cable goes down for a bit, and then the packet loss issues are gone.
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I live look at the Brewers GM in MLB the Show losing his freaking mind.
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The Rockies building a roster are like me if I wore a Speedo to the beach; both involve being absolutely oblivious to the state of reality.
Most bad teams at least know they're bad. I literally, honestly believe that at the high levels of the Rockies, they don't know this.
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"We tried" and a shrug are the story of the Rockies.
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The #Rockies signed just one starter last offseason and he's already been DFA'd. Now, Márquez needs Tommy John surgery and may never play in a Rockies uniform again.
"We tried," Bill Schmidt replied when I asked if they should have added more depth.
denvergazette.com/csg-web/rockie
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Up on I ask whether or not we should believe in the Pittsburgh Pirates. Plus: ZiPS projects Chaos in the NL Central.
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Dan is a behind-the-scenes guy rather than a big public name, but his involvement is something that should be taken very seriously.
No Dan at ESPN and then no there is why I've never had the slightest second-guessing of going to , which I've loved.
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And then he was editorial director for The Athletic. He was a big part of why ESPN dipped its toes into Esports and I'd wager that if he were still there, ESPN would not have given up on the idea so quickly.
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Seeing my old boss Dan Kaufman being in charge of the sports section of The Messenger makes me highly interested in checking it out when it launches. He was a big advocate of more modern baseball coverage/analysis at ESPN when he was there (and the one who brought me in there)
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I'm interrogating my cat Justinian where his collar went and strangely, he does not seem to be forthcoming.
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Use bourbon as hand sanitizer just one time and loved ones never make you forget it.
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Up on I ask whether or not we should believe in the Pittsburgh Pirates. Plus: ZiPS projects Chaos in the NL Central.
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I come back after a week and my desk and floor in my basement office have about 15 cat toys and my office is ransacked like someone executed a search warrant. Cats.
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Anytime I pass through Google Photos and see this, I get annoyed with my mom all over again.
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"Uh, Hi, is this the Apple help desk. My iPad just stopped working and I'm not sure why?"
"Did I drop it? No, I didn't drop it. I didn't do anything. It just stopped working."
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