Tentative hypothesis about how a lot of trauma and trauma-like things work: Accumulation of mental resources that we don't want to deal with.
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In order to start to undo this you have to resist the initial urge to suppress. Sometimes you will feel bad, and sometimes that will be the appropriate response to the situation. If it's not the appropriate response, you can use the situation to start to unlearn the bad feeling.
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A lot of therapeutic techniques (but most centrally coherence therapy) are essentially there to help you isolate out a single lesson that you've learned, so that you can activate it on its own without the storm of negative emotions, and start to address it.
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I don't know if this model is true, but it seems potentially useful.
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If nothing else, it supports my biases that the cult of positive thinking can get in the sea.
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