Donald Trump, incumbent republican, runs on platform of "stability," continuing to make enemies of traditional US allies and trading partners whilst serving interests of Russia. Also, insulting foreign leaders, selected entertainers, and randomly selected citizens by "tweet."
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Joseph Biden, leading Democrat and former vice warlord to Barack Obama, runs on platform of age and experience. But mostly age. And Barack Obama. Who is not running. Touts statistical odds against losing fourth presidential race, on grounds coin must someday be tossed as "heads"
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Bill Weld, leading republican challenger, runs on grounds that he is relatively normal, not Gary Johnson, and can name cities of Syria.
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Elizabeth Warren, insurgent democrat, runs on platform promising she can spend thirty trillion dollars without raising US deficit or taxes on Americans not named Gates, Jobs, Bezos, or Buffett.
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Kamala Harris, US attorney of California, runs on platform advocating criminal justice reform through more prisons, more police shootings, and denial of criminal appeals to wrongly convicted innocents.
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Tulsi Gabbard, governor of Hawaii province, runs on platform advocating closer ties with traditional US allies Russia, Syria, Iran, and Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea. Also return of Saddam Hussein and Muammar Khaddafi to rightful place as leaders of Iraq and Libya.
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Andrew Yang seems to be nice, wholesome Asian man, ideal as candidate for husband and son-in-law to proper family. Has degree in computer science.
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Bernard Sanders runs on credentials of losing to Hillary Clinton, who lost to Donald Trump. Advocates restoration of Soviet Union, and abolition of wasteful deodorants.
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Pete Buttigieg, mayor of corn maze in Indiana province, also seems wholesome, pleasant, and mildly sane. Name begins with B, important advantage over Trump on alphabetical ballots.
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New Jersey mayor Cory Booker is close friends with Chris Christie and Corrado "Junior" Soprano. Promises waste management service and union membership for all.
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Novi razgovor -
Čini se da učitavanje traje već neko vrijeme.
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