A Crime a Day

I understand that no horses were offended in the making of this book review over at Simple Justice: https://blog.simplejustice.us/2019/04/18/book-review-how-to-become-a-federal-criminal/ … from @ScottGreenfieldpic.twitter.com/KiQhf8q495

Please use this responsibly today.pic.twitter.com/sgEDoH5VAP

The second those taters go inside a mailbox, this mystery is going to solved by the postal inspectors and we're gonna have a good old fashioned 18 U.S.C. § 1725 situation on our hands.pic.twitter.com/qaskUXAmAE

In light of Attorney General Barr's announcement that his redactions to the Mueller Report will be color-coded, @CrimeADay is re-issuing the Redaction Key.pic.twitter.com/BSMoGHlHNV

Giving away 4 of these indispensable @CrimeADay stamps. RT before this Monday at noon EST to enter. It's a perfect complement to your copy of HOW TO BECOME A FEDERAL CRIMINAL, which you can preorder here: https://amzn.to/2YRlWkw pic.twitter.com/axpCVK7HFF

Dear everyone:pic.twitter.com/ildxRN9eS8

For anyone confused by the president's recent remarks about windmills, please refer to Fig. 2-2 in "How to Become a Federal Criminal" to learn the basics of how this complicated technology works. (and preorder your copy here: http://bit.ly/FederalCriminalBook …)pic.twitter.com/UBboq03EM9

Sources are also telling me that the Mueller Report does NOT have illustrations like How to Become a Federal Criminal does (see, e.g. Fig. 2-9, Illegal Manatee Rides). So honestly, what's the point?pic.twitter.com/Tnair2OioK

For when it drops, keep this @CrimeADay Redaction Key handy to help spot the ten most likely crimes to be redacted from the Mueller Report.pic.twitter.com/ZSm9fFPTq9

Stay out of prison this Pi Day.pic.twitter.com/bCwjgRkBHs

By popular request, this is being provided on a no-questions-asked basis: https://www.cio.noaa.gov/itmanagement/pdfs/0025frm.pdf …pic.twitter.com/VciQ35N1P2

Airlines cracking down on salad combs.pic.twitter.com/IHGHwK21zR

You didn't just cite it; it was a true tour de force in arguing federal raisin bun law.pic.twitter.com/n2Li9Zb364

18 USC §1865 & 36 CFR §7.96(g)(3)(ii)(B) make it a federal crime to hold a special event in the shaded part of the Lincoln Memorial, except for the official annual commemorative Lincoln birthday ceremony.pic.twitter.com/Z33fy2qYkH

And before you get sentenced, the judge might just want to climb it too.pic.twitter.com/LzqQZazK23

18 USC §701, 14 CFR §§1221.115(b) & 1221.110(d) make it a federal crime to use the NASA insignia without permission.pic.twitter.com/2MOVrE3f3p

To clear up the "shooting a fish from an airplane" vs. "shooting a fish from an airplane" confusion:pic.twitter.com/MsUONv7Arj

You're not alone. Even Congress got it wrong in Section 68c(b):pic.twitter.com/25FaJm0vTp

15 USC §1192(a), §1196, 16 CFR §1632.3(c) & §1632.4(d)(1)(i) make it a federal crime for a mattress maker to sell a mattress without first burning 18 cigarettes on a prototype of the mattress, 9 cigarettes on the bare mattress and 9 cigarettes tucked in.pic.twitter.com/BnM41l7jA4

For those who are curious, here is a censored excerpt of the statute:pic.twitter.com/Xaq4hcGhZ4