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By contrast, this is the version that camper salesmen would have suggested.pic.twitter.com/DPoyctY6xe
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15 USC §1233, §1232(g) & 49 CFR §575.103(e)(1)(ii)(F) make it a federal crime for a slide-in camper maker to sell a camper without this illustration in the manual.pic.twitter.com/Ya8lz0769F
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18 USC §1017, 14 CFR §§1221.102, 1221.115(a) & 1221.109(b) make it a federal crime to fraudulently use the NASA seal without permission.pic.twitter.com/DGNuZNZtEV
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Just be sure to adhere to the federal scorpion mailing regulations. Here's some help from "How to Become a Federal Criminal: An Illustrated Handbook for the Aspiring Offender"pic.twitter.com/vAqHFZpXnu
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To show my thanks, I've gone ahead and drafted this Bill based on the most popular proposal for a new criminal law:pic.twitter.com/2xMdYxdNiZ
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Here's a flow chart on how to tell if something is interstate commerce.pic.twitter.com/yB25KUdUC5
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The good news is that Clark was seeking FDA approval for his non-nutritive cereal varnish. Merry Christmas.pic.twitter.com/FA2f29BZlR
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There's still time to get a copy of HOW TO BECOME A FEDERAL CRIMINAL for the lawyer, law student, or aspiring offender in your life (https://amzn.to/2YRlWkw ) Don't think they'll like it? Try hollowing it out and stuffing some liquor in it.pic.twitter.com/1EmymXKYQH
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If you can't get enough narwhal, here's a quick way to modify page 63 of your copy of "How to Become a Federal Criminal" to include one.pic.twitter.com/TBdm9sEugo
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And yes, people have been indicted for narwhal tusk offenses.pic.twitter.com/wtmQweEsxv
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And, instead of fighting about politics this year, consider creating a deep family rift by aggressively giving your relative's cranberry sauce a Grade of D or Substandard. Here's the federal cranberry sauce manual so you can do it at home. https://www.ams.usda.gov/sites/default/files/media/Canned_Cranberry_Sauce_Standard%5B1%5D.pdf …pic.twitter.com/oYBaQQc9L9
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Thanks for your questions about interstate commerce. Here's a helpful FAQ on how the interstate commerce clause works from "How to Become a Federal Criminal" (https://www.amazon.com/How-Become-Federal-Criminal-Illustrated/dp/1982112514/ …)pic.twitter.com/tkrTvvayos
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That feeling when you were just born and
@CrimeADay is your dad.pic.twitter.com/Z7uQAzblvY
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