A Crime a Day

@CrimeADay

In 1982, DOJ attempted to count the total number of federal crimes. The WSJ said 'Since then, no one has tried anything nearly as extensive.' Until .

Joined July 2014

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    3 Jun 2019

    (7/7): How to Become a Federal Criminal () is the product of lots of this work that doesn’t fit into a tweet. I hope it will make you laugh and learn, and have great conversations. Or at least look good in your bathroom or whatever. But truly: thank you.

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  2. 18 hours ago

    18 USC §2236 makes it a federal crime for a federal employee to maliciously search property without a warrant.

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  3. 20 hours ago
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  4. Sep 9
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  5. Sep 9
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  6. Sep 8

    Please stop snitching. It’s going to be impossible to find a good onion future.

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  7. Sep 6
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  8. Sep 6

    18 USC §1231 makes it a federal crime to give a person a ride to another state if they're going to be hired to forcefully interfere with peaceful picketing by employees during any labor controversy affecting wages, hours, or conditions of labor.

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  9. Sep 5

    CrimeADay

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  10. Sep 4

    Interstate transportation of a leaky egg in violation of 21 USC §§1037, 1041(a) & 1033(g)(6).

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  11. Sep 2

    18 USC §1865 & 36 CFR §7.13(d)(12) make it a federal crime to have a boat race in Yellowstone National Park.

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  12. Sep 2
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  13. Sep 1

    Offer to barter for a walrus. It’s easy and you might get a walrus out of it, you never know.

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  14. Aug 31

    18 USC §1865 & 36 CFR §7.36(c)(2)(ii) make it a federal crime to bike faster than 15mph in Mammoth Cave National Park, unless posted otherwise.

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  15. Aug 30

    16 USC §707 & 50 CFR §21.55(c)(2) make it a federal crime to kill a barn owl in Hawaii by shooting it, unless you use nontoxic bullets.

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  16. Aug 29

    Don’t. Unless you do. In which case, you shouldn’t have, but you did.

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  17. Aug 29

    21 USC §§331, 333, 343(g) & 21 CFR §136.130(a)(2) make it a federal crime to sell milk buns made with cheese whey.

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  18. Aug 25

    But it’s not some antiquated relic. In 2019, Texas enacted an even broader criminal . It goes well beyond milk crates:

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  19. Aug 25

    In Massachusetts, M.G.L. c. 266 § 144 makes it a state crime to steal a plastic or wire milk case or a plastic or wire container for milk products which has been indelibly stamped with the name of a milk dealer or association of milk dealers.

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  20. Aug 25

    But that doesn’t mean there isn’t such a thing as MILK CRATE LAW.

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  21. Aug 25

    I say, whenever you have a choice of stealing or purloining, you always purloin.

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