A Crime a Day

@CrimeADay

In 1982, DOJ attempted to count the total number of federal crimes. The WSJ said 'Since then, no one has tried anything nearly as extensive.' Until .

crimehandbook.com
Joined July 2014
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    3 Jun 2019

    (7/7): How to Become a Federal Criminal () is the product of lots of this work that doesn’t fit into a tweet. I hope it will make you laugh and learn, and have great conversations. Or at least look good in your bathroom or whatever. But truly: thank you.

    50 replies 162 retweets 934 likes
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  2. 18 hours ago

    18 USC §2236 makes it a federal crime for a federal employee to maliciously search property without a warrant.

    23 replies 57 retweets 453 likes
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  3. 20 hours ago

    shut up.

    Replying to @CrimeADay
    Isn't it a crime to teach others how to commit crimes?
    10 replies 22 retweets 644 likes
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  4. Sep 9

    This is the way.

    Made a reference in crim law today… Do I get my J.D now?
    4 replies 3 retweets 154 likes
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  5. Sep 9

    The kids are alright.

    Today in class I discussed with students the ridiculous amount of federal laws there are. I pulled out my copy of 's book, together we opened to a random page & found ourselves discussing how to identify "criminally sexual pork" & why one needs to identify it. 😂
    14 replies 26 retweets 313 likes
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  6. Sep 8

    Please stop snitching. It’s going to be impossible to find a good onion future.

    OMG. Someone on Reddit says their local grocery store may be offering illegal onion futures
    22 replies 81 retweets 632 likes
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  7. Sep 6

    they're good laws brent

    Replying to @CrimeADay
    finally, a good law!
    7 replies 11 retweets 241 likes
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  8. Sep 6

    18 USC §1231 makes it a federal crime to give a person a ride to another state if they're going to be hired to forcefully interfere with peaceful picketing by employees during any labor controversy affecting wages, hours, or conditions of labor.

    21 replies 151 retweets 763 likes
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  9. Sep 5

    CrimeADay

    28 replies 18 retweets 410 likes
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  10. Sep 4

    Interstate transportation of a leaky egg in violation of 21 USC §§1037, 1041(a) & 1033(g)(6).

    What's the lowest effort crime that could still be considered a wacky caper? I need some illicit hijinks in my life, but I don't want to expend a lot of energy.
    13 replies 96 retweets 546 likes
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  11. Sep 2

    18 USC §1865 & 36 CFR §7.13(d)(12) make it a federal crime to have a boat race in Yellowstone National Park.

    35 replies 87 retweets 700 likes
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  12. Sep 2

    Don’t listen to Mental Floss.

    Don't go trying to frame koalas for your crimes.
    10 replies 33 retweets 274 likes
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  13. Sep 1

    Offer to barter for a walrus. It’s easy and you might get a walrus out of it, you never know.

    for someone thinking of becoming a criminal, what's a good "starter crime"? (asking for a friend)
    16 replies 66 retweets 462 likes
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  14. Aug 31

    18 USC §1865 & 36 CFR §7.36(c)(2)(ii) make it a federal crime to bike faster than 15mph in Mammoth Cave National Park, unless posted otherwise.

    27 replies 71 retweets 452 likes
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  15. Aug 30

    16 USC §707 & 50 CFR §21.55(c)(2) make it a federal crime to kill a barn owl in Hawaii by shooting it, unless you use nontoxic bullets.

    33 replies 74 retweets 600 likes
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  16. Aug 29

    Don’t. Unless you do. In which case, you shouldn’t have, but you did.

    17 replies 48 retweets 442 likes
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  17. Aug 29

    21 USC §§331, 333, 343(g) & 21 CFR §136.130(a)(2) make it a federal crime to sell milk buns made with cheese whey.

    19 replies 44 retweets 314 likes
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  18. Aug 25

    But it’s not some antiquated relic. In 2019, Texas enacted an even broader criminal . It goes well beyond milk crates:

    7 replies 9 retweets 95 likes
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  19. Aug 25

    In Massachusetts, M.G.L. c. 266 § 144 makes it a state crime to steal a plastic or wire milk case or a plastic or wire container for milk products which has been indelibly stamped with the name of a milk dealer or association of milk dealers.

    17 replies 35 retweets 240 likes
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  20. Aug 25

    But that doesn’t mean there isn’t such a thing as MILK CRATE LAW.

    2 replies 4 retweets 77 likes
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  21. Aug 25

    I say, whenever you have a choice of stealing or purloining, you always purloin.

    8 replies 22 retweets 182 likes
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