(1/?)Creighton's Surefire 2021 Super Bowl Wagers:
Chiefs 36 - Bucs 26
There are no TDs the entire game - 100% FGs.
National anthem is 14:53 long, as Church and Sullivan have to hold "Free" for 11 minutes because one of the flyover jets got lost on the way to the stadium.
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(2/?) CS2021SBW:
Amanda Gorman reads her poem "The effects of contact sport on cerebro-spinal pressure in aging males." And it. is. BEAUTIFUL.
Patrick Mahomes trips on his way out of the tunnel and takes a cleat to the dick from right tackle Mitchell Schwartz. He's fine.1 reply 0 retweets 3 likesShow this thread -
(3/?) CS2021SBW:
Chiefs win the coin toss. Brady invites his personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani onto the field to contest.
Rudy Giuliani trips coming onto the field and takes a cleat to the dick by Chief's right tackle Mitchell Schwartz. He's not fine.1 reply 0 retweets 5 likesShow this thread -
(4/?) CS2021SBW:
Opening kickoff is returned to the Chief's 1 yard-line.
Three consecutive TD passes by Brady are recalled by referee Carl Cheffers under the obscure "Palpably Unfair Act" due to the anti-aging serum that Brady has been using. This pattern continues all game1 reply 0 retweets 3 likesShow this thread -
(5/?) CS2021SBW:
The Bucs' first field goal attempt from the 10 shanks off the left post, injuring a COVID-vaccinated nurse from Westchase who escaped from his living hell of the last 18 months for one day to find some small amount of joy in this dried-up world.1 reply 0 retweets 2 likesShow this thread -
(6/?) CS2021SBW:
Halftime score: 9-9.
Brady punches a TV cameraman on the way into the locker room.
Mahomes skips the halftime pep-talk to go pull a child out of a burning building.
No scores in the third quarter.
Fifteen field goals are scored in the fourth quarter1 reply 0 retweets 4 likesShow this thread
(7/7) CS2021SBW:
The celebratory Gatorade is yellow, which turns all the Chief's uniforms green during the post-game celebrations.
The Weekend completes his live-tweeting of the game from his couch, as his hologram did the entire halftime show.
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