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(1/?)Creighton's Surefire 2021 Super Bowl Wagers:
Chiefs 36 - Bucs 26
There are no TDs the entire game - 100% FGs.
National anthem is 14:53 long, as Church and Sullivan have to hold "Free" for 11 minutes because one of the flyover jets got lost on the way to the stadium.
(2/?) CS2021SBW:
Amanda Gorman reads her poem "The effects of contact sport on cerebro-spinal pressure in aging males." And it. is. BEAUTIFUL.
Patrick Mahomes trips on his way out of the tunnel and takes a cleat to the dick from right tackle Mitchell Schwartz. He's fine.
(3/?) CS2021SBW:
Chiefs win the coin toss. Brady invites his personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani onto the field to contest.
Rudy Giuliani trips coming onto the field and takes a cleat to the dick by Chief's right tackle Mitchell Schwartz. He's not fine.
(4/?) CS2021SBW:
Opening kickoff is returned to the Chief's 1 yard-line.
Three consecutive TD passes by Brady are recalled by referee Carl Cheffers under the obscure "Palpably Unfair Act" due to the anti-aging serum that Brady has been using. This pattern continues all game
(5/?) CS2021SBW:
The Bucs' first field goal attempt from the 10 shanks off the left post, injuring a COVID-vaccinated nurse from Westchase who escaped from his living hell of the last 18 months for one day to find some small amount of joy in this dried-up world.
(6/?) CS2021SBW:
Halftime score: 9-9.
Brady punches a TV cameraman on the way into the locker room.
Mahomes skips the halftime pep-talk to go pull a child out of a burning building.
No scores in the third quarter.
Fifteen field goals are scored in the fourth quarter
(7/7) CS2021SBW:
The celebratory Gatorade is yellow, which turns all the Chief's uniforms green during the post-game celebrations.
The Weekend completes his live-tweeting of the game from his couch, as his hologram did the entire halftime show.
Even a four minute national anthem is stupid long. Ninety seconds is the ideal, btw.
Yeah, but there are two performers, so I'm expecting to hear at least two verses this year.
If Tom Brady dies I think he becomes a DT or something
The Ravens become the only team that doesn’t suffer build-order losses to the Bucs.
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