As a nerd who was bullied: I think a certain level of bullying is a natural way to teach "weird" kids to fit in and act in socially healthy ways. But, the artificial social system created by public schooling (ie. child prison) ratchets bullying to an unnaturally vicious degree. https://twitter.com/worstpoaster/status/975579668903485441 …
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The feral social system of public schooling is further worsened by the "don't fight, tell someone" dynamic. Bullying should help build social skills, including standing up for yourself, but non-violence push prevents it and "telling on" creates unhealthy reliance on authority.
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Example: fat kid gets fat joke, called Big Al, and an occasional stomach slap to make him jiggle. It's mildly painful, but it provides an incentive to be healthy to fit in Late-20s I was gaining weight; getting double-chin. Dad's jokes were a major incentive to get healthier...
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But in feral social system of public school, kids are incentivized to gain status points off fat kid. Mild bullying becomes relentless persecution. Fat jokes become cruel insults, Big Al becomes Hambeast, occasionally belly slap becomes regular beatings Hazing becomes torment...
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That kind of persistent cruelty destroys character, rather than building it up. Hazing is healthy for "weird" kids. It helps and encourages them to fit in and find a social place. Continual torment is unhealthy. It destroys them and their ability to connect with others.
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If the fat kid doesn't get bullied, he grows up obese, joins fat pride, and dies of a heart attack or diabetes at 36. If the fat kid undergoes unceasing torment, he eats more to comfort himself, then kills himself at 17 or becomes a NEET and dies alone of diabetes at 36.
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Socially, the line between healthy hazing and unhealthy torment is something adults need to enforce on children. Parents are generally good at this: know when to tell weird kid not to tattle and to handle it themselves, and when to intervene because it's gone too far...
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Public schooling social system promotes and rewards vicious cruelty. Teachers not in a good position to know which side of line the yearly revolving group of students stand and to enforce the line upon them. So you either get no tolerance, vicious cruelty, or, commonly, both.
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Replying to @FreeNortherner
HUGE part of this problem is that school teachers are all women No experience with "tough for your own good" - their normal social mode is unceasing plausibly deniable cruelty to lo ranked women b/c why not? Much smaller biological penalty for low rank woman than men
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Penalty for being a low rank man is so harsh that lashing out and committing murder looks like a better alternative than continuing to take it (and suffering genetic death due to involuntary celibacy)
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