This is such a fascinating thread to read through! "I feel that the more successful and interesting my life is, the less men seem interested in me as a long-term partner. And the fewer men I meet could add to my life in a meaningful way."https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/ox15tw/when_does_living_your_best_single_life_backfire/ …
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Replying to @liminal_warmth
Wanting to spend some time digging in and sitting with this thread. On the on hand, the articulation of living a "best life" in terms of colonial perquisition feels profoundly unsettling. OTOH, this would seem to be the latest iteration of a generations-old gendered dynamic.
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Replying to @beadsland @liminal_warmth
Growing up, I saw the figure—then commonly depicted in media—of the middle-aged, middle-class housewife dragging a recalcitrant husband on vacation travel, evolve to become the group of liberated housewives traveling together when their workaholic husbands couldn't be bothered.
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Replying to @beadsland @liminal_warmth
Today, we have instead the disparagement 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭-𝘢𝘴-𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺—in reference to an online dating profile cliché of expressing life satisfaction in terms of globetrotting—but this nonetheless would appear to be same class-marked point of hetero courtship tension.
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Replying to @beadsland @liminal_warmth
This line is especially telling: "These women are waiting on a guy to travel or do anything by themselves, and are often honest about that." So many assumptions to be unpacked here—not only about "these women", but about what one ought to be doing with life, rather than "wait".
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That line is telling because literally everyone alive knows what it means when a single woman is into "travel" as a hobby - yet somehow women want to pretend it's not transparent.
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