You haven't thought through the implications of "most of our ancestors are women". It doesn't mean "women got to pick the top men each generation and the rest just accepted it" - it means the opposite of that - men banded together and removed female mate choice entirely.
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Again, just no - you don't get it. Monogamy exists so the tribe can be cohesive and ready for when it has conflicts with men of other tribes. The tribe that gets more out of their men, wins If this breaks down, that tribe loses to a tribe where it hasn't - which keeps it stable
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