Using the state as an infinitely powerful lover that married women can turn to to threaten her husband on demand is insane because women have a module that makes them take that approach to test his strength and no man is strong enough to pass Civilization corroding indeed
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I'd argue that both sexes are terrible at discerning good partners in their own lives, but are reasonably good at doing it for others. (Semi) arranged marriages were pretty normal throughout history, and parents/local elders tended to be invested in healthy long term pairings.
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