I use to never know what women were talking about when they talked about men just presuming they were flirting by being polite. Then I worked with a guy who thought every woman that was polite to him was flirting.
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He'd be like, "Did you see that chick? She was flirting me." And I'd be like, "She's the starbucks girl. She's just being polite." "No, she smiled at me." "Yeah she smiled at me too. She smiles at everyone." "Nah man, she was flirting. You just can't recognize it." "Okay"
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Just goes to show you can't ever assume someone's perspectives or perceptions are the same as your own.
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The ambiguity isn't concealing a true internal state - it's ambiguity all the way down She puts out a possibility, gives the man a chance to pique her interest. She then decides on her level of interest based on her emotional reaction to him - which she doesn't directly access
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When observing women's behavior you end up resorting to a lot of the "acts as if" models so often seen in economics for non-unified actors and evolutionary bio for unconscious decision makers
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