Cory Xander

@Coryxpdx

Snackmaster Flash. Support .

Portland, OR
Joined February 2011

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  1. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    GOP pundit 1: how can we discredit Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez GOP pundit 2: I got it! let's post a video of her looking young and hot and super fun and vibrant GOP pundit 1: brilliant

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  2. Retweeted
    Jan 4

    Seriously though, we kid around a lot here on Twitter, but impeach the motherfucker.

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  3. Retweeted
    27 Dec 2018

    Trump today: "Do the Dems realize that most of the people not getting paid are Democrats?" If they weren't before, they surely are now

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  4. Retweeted
    19 Dec 2018

    No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.

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  5. Retweeted
    18 Dec 2018

    The biggest lie in American politics is that Republicans hate deficits. The truth is that they LOVE deficits because it gives them an excuse to pretend they are fiscally responsible, slash benefits for the poor & posture for gullible media-types who stupidly take them seriously.

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  6. Retweeted
    9 Dec 2018

    Twenty years from now, kids listening to "Baby it's cold outside" are gonna find it really, really weird. We're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood in the context of its time. You see, it used to get cold outside.

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  7. Retweeted
    3 Dec 2018

    *Obama helps save the auto industry* Rust Belt voter: "Obama didn't do anything for us!" *Trump policies cause GM to close factories, cut 14K jobs* Rust Belt voter: "It isn't Trump's fault I lost my job!" This is your brain on right-wing propaganda.🤦‍♂️

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  8. Retweeted
    9 Dec 2018

    “I can’t breathe”. Eric Garner’s last words in 2014. The same as Jamal Khashoggi’s last words in 2018.

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  9. Retweeted
    8 Dec 2018

    Reagan was mentally failing - but he wasn't a traitor. Clinton wasn't faithful - but he wasn't a traitor. W Bush made some terrible decisions - but he wasn't a traitor. Trump is mentally failing, has never been faithful, and makes terrible decisions. And IS a traitor...

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  10. Retweeted
    7 Dec 2018

    Don Jr. at home printing out emails to shred

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  11. Retweeted
    7 Dec 2018

    Individual-1 just threw his Arby's at Intern-4

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  12. Retweeted
    5 Dec 2018

    wife hoping for a normal day: good morning me: im gonna try to become left handed

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  13. Retweeted
    1 Dec 2018

    Kid: Santa, what's the story of your reindeer names? Santa: Why I name them after memories, like Prancer frolicking through the snow! Kid: What about Donner? *a dark countenance settles on Santa's face* Santa: the year was 1847, snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada-

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  14. Retweeted

    For I was a stranger & you tear-gassed me I asked for asylum & you stole my children I fled violence in my country from your drug war & you called me 'illegal' But maybe the next time evangelicals vote they'll read the Gospels 1st instead of electing fucking Caligula Amen.

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  15. Retweeted

    I bet you'd be on my side if I had killed a journalist.

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  16. Retweeted
    20 Nov 2018

    why is trump pardoning a turkey did it murder a journalist

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  17. Retweeted

    Welp. The chyron graphics folks at have zero fucks to give. This is real, y’all.

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  18. Retweeted
    12 Nov 2018

    Stan Lee's life here on earth may be over but I'm gonna stick around after the credits just to make sure

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  19. Retweeted
    10 Nov 2018

    This should be a movement. Call it “F the NRA.”

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  20. Retweeted
    10 Nov 2018

    I actually think it's a good idea for Trump to refrain from any commemoration of World War I or II until he can figure out which side he'd have been on.

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