HäxagonVerified account

On Monday the 10th I had a really bad day at work. I was on video chat with someone close to me afterward, looking for some support.

Instead they told me that they were making plans to kill themselves. Serious plans. And soon. I was sent into shock.

Nothing I could say would dissuade them. They were being matter of fact about it and simply letting me know.

I panicked, I broke down in tears, and I found myself completely unable to cope. In desperation I reached for my anti-anxiety pills.

I took an overdose.

We were still video chatting, and they saw me getting more and more fucked up from the pills I had taken. They told me that for my safety…

I should get in touch with my psychiatrist and tell her what was happening. I texted her and she talked me into going to the ER.

She told me a specific hospital to go to with a staff that she trusted. She called ahead so that they would know that I was coming.

I made arrangements for a friend to take me there. I knew that there was a chance of 72 hours of observation so I packed a small suitcase.

Some clothes, some toiletries, the complete works of fiction of Borges, and House of Leaves, one of my favorite books.

My friend arrived and we drove to the hospital. I was still very fucked up from the overdose and had been crying for hours.

While I waited I texted few close friends and family members to tell them what was going on.

They had me change into a hospital gown, did a blood and urine test, and had me wait for an evaluation. My friend stayed the whole time.

Eventually I saw a psychiatrist. She interviewed me and I was honest about what had happened. She asked me if I wanted to check myself in.

I said I wanted to think about it. Which I did over the next hour. I had started coming down from the drugs and my head felt more together.

When she came to see me again I told her I had decided to just go back home. She said that that was not possible. I was being admitted.

I sat around for another hour. My friend went home. I was waiting to be admitted. Someone took me to a temporary room with a hospital bed.

I curled up and fell into an exhausted dreamless sleep. Some hours later I was awakened and told that I was being transferred…

…to a different hospital. No explanation was given. I rode in an ambulance for about 20 minutes.