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An unexpected thing has happened to me. I've become boy obsessed. I think I said back in January that I was 70-30 bisexual favoring women. Well I'd say it's now more like 50-50, but I spend more time thinking about men.
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Maybe that's because this intensity of boy crushing is new for me, so there's a novelty effect. Or maybe I'm halfway to becoming straight. Who knows. Everything is changing quickly. I'll call it bi/queer for now and see what happens.
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I know this sounds outlandish but it turns out to be pretty common for trans people's sexuality to shift when they transition. There are Kinsey-6 "lesbians" who become gay men post trans, and every other possible permutation.
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If I were to speculate about why I'd say that sexual orientation probably shouldn't be understood only in terms of who it's "toward" but also where it's "from." I.e. your orientation isn't just disembodied contextless attraction but also involves your own conception of self.
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Transitioning really alters your conception of your self and your body, and sexual orientation can be dramatically affected by those changes. There's also no doubt a hormone effect. But I'm just making this up, I don't really know. Anyway hiii boys.
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I also get caught up in wondering if it’s just the excitement/novelty of accepting I’m into men and masculine people now when I repressed it as a cis lesbian for so long. Now I deff feel like a gay boy more than anything. Either way it’s fun to move with your changing sexuality!
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Bi/queer/pan ftw!!
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I wouldn't worry too much about the labels. You are attracted to who you're attracted to. Just enjoy it.
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