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When I started transing I was absolutely terrified of using women's bathrooms, but so far that's turned out to be surprisingly easy and painless.
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Also, I seem to enjoy around 80-90% visual passing privilege (it's my voice that outs me, otherwise strangers almost always default to "miss" and "ma'am"), so your mileage may vary.
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But the thing is, no one in public bathrooms is really scrutinizing you—unless of course you look like I do in the men's room: that's something of a sensation.
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So it makes SOOO much more sense for me to use the women's room, and I don't understand why this is even a debate (jk I do, the reason is transphobia).
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Here's what I do in public bathrooms: I walk in, I don't look at anyone, I go into the stall, then to the sink, wash my hands, and then spend 45 seconds fucking with my hair in front of the mirror.
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End of conversation
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As a dude with around 30 years of experiences in mens' rooms, it's the same. We don't even want to make eye contact. Get in, get out.
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