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To be a trans woman is to become a contestant in an extremely high-stakes beauty contest.
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In my case the consensus seems to be that I'm at least sexually plausible. And isn't that just fuckin great for me. Well, yes. Yes it is. But the fact that it MATTERS so much also has a negative psychological effect.
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When I was filming last night I threw a big tantrum because I didn't look pretty enough, and I redid all my makeup and reshot a whole scene. This isn't the person I want to be. I should be above tantrums about makeup.
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But but because the stakes are so high, it's about more than just vanity and I sort of can't be above it. It sucks.
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Oh—and I'm not even complaining about the compliments from men. This is a brag, not a humble brag. They're complimenting me because they think it matters to me. And they're right. It matters a lot.
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I hope you can trust me when I say this is normal for early transitioners and eventually you won't give a shit.
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looking forward to it
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I know a ton of trans ladies, and this is pretty common. Hyper stressing about makeup and general appearance is largely a phase. Largely.pic.twitter.com/qeigdtymKO
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And now that I, a cis dude, have finished talking about the trans female experience, I must return to my mancave.pic.twitter.com/8poDCbTznw
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Blaire White certainly didn't make things easy!
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Transitioning post puberty does seem to bring a lot of typical pubescent behaviours to the forefront, I've heard HRT heightens it too.
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Could you decouple this from being about human pair bonding and see it more as just anxiety about wanting to present your best self on cam?
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