𝓝𝓪𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝓦𝔂𝓷𝓷  💎

But enough people criticize my current voice (and this isn't just pepes and TERFs either, whose opinions are discarded instantly) that I think I'm probably doing something wrong.

But I don't know what to do. Because the only alternative I have now is to speak in a more masculine voice. I know trans women who do that and people say: "you sound like a dude, you're not even trying."

I know people will say: "Don't do things to please other people, just do what makes you happy!" But often what makes us happy is inextricably tied up with what other people think.

I guess what I need to do is try out different voices, record myself, listen to myself, tweak, alter, rehearse, repeat. For months. Until I have a voice I'm so confident that any criticism can be brushed off.

I know how to create a voice. I've done it before. My "natural male speaking voice" is something I invented in my early twenties, when I decided Americans sound dumb. So I practiced suppressing any regional American inflections/vowel sounds.

This time around I will not capitulate to prejudice. American's aren't dumber than anyone else. Women aren't dumber than anyone else. Whatever people think, I want to sound like an American woman, because that's what I am.

If I were confident in my voice, none of this would matter. But my intense insecurity about it makes the criticisms really stick. I just don't want to speak at all at this point. But I can't do that, speaking is my job.

when i started to transition i didnt mind my voice, but then i got a cold and smoked and it got really low. That caused intense euphoria...