𝓝𝓪𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝓦𝔂𝓷𝓷  💎

My voice has become the source of intense frustration and despair. My body—whatever, bodies are things. But my voice is my soul.

In the last couple months I've gone from a baritone male speaking voice to a voice that gets me correctly gendered on the phone. Any happiness this would bring has been soured by the intense criticism of my voice I get online.

The number one thing people say is "you sound like a valley girl." Also: "basic white bitch." Also: "stereotype/cliché/caricature of a woman." Also: "you sound like you're trying to hard."

The thing is, I sort of don't agree. At least, I don't think I sound like a valley girl. I am doing a very feminine sing-songy cadence. It's an efficient way to have my voice recognized as feminine though my pitch isn't up there yet.

But enough people criticize my current voice (and this isn't just pepes and TERFs either, whose opinions are discarded instantly) that I think I'm probably doing something wrong.

But I don't know what to do. Because the only alternative I have now is to speak in a more masculine voice. I know trans women who do that and people say: "you sound like a dude, you're not even trying."

I know people will say: "Don't do things to please other people, just do what makes you happy!" But often what makes us happy is inextricably tied up with what other people think.

I guess what I need to do is try out different voices, record myself, listen to myself, tweak, alter, rehearse, repeat. For months. Until I have a voice I'm so confident that any criticism can be brushed off.