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My voice has become the source of intense frustration and despair. My body—whatever, bodies are things. But my voice is my soul.
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But I don't know what to do. Because the only alternative I have now is to speak in a more masculine voice. I know trans women who do that and people say: "you sound like a dude, you're not even trying."
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I know people will say: "Don't do things to please other people, just do what makes you happy!" But often what makes us happy is inextricably tied up with what other people think.
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I guess what I need to do is try out different voices, record myself, listen to myself, tweak, alter, rehearse, repeat. For months. Until I have a voice I'm so confident that any criticism can be brushed off.
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I know how to create a voice. I've done it before. My "natural male speaking voice" is something I invented in my early twenties, when I decided Americans sound dumb. So I practiced suppressing any regional American inflections/vowel sounds.
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This time around I will not capitulate to prejudice. American's aren't dumber than anyone else. Women aren't dumber than anyone else. Whatever people think, I want to sound like an American woman, because that's what I am.
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If I were confident in my voice, none of this would matter. But my intense insecurity about it makes the criticisms really stick. I just don't want to speak at all at this point. But I can't do that, speaking is my job.
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End of conversation
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I know they mean well but it makes me uncomfortable when my cis friends tell me I don't need to change my voice. anyway yr doing great girl
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Cis folks do not and cannot know what we should or shouldn’t do. I wish they realied that even if they meant well
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I love your old voice and your new voice and all the voices you make - the way you say BANG in the Roosh video had me giggling for days 1/2
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But most of all I love all the intelligent and funny things you say and wish you the best of luck in finding what works best for you 2/2
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The compensations to all the high visibility are there. They're the people who love you and love seeing you shine. Care what they think.
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Perhaps this, like most things, will take time. You are very musical, can you sing to work on the pitches and cadences you are looking for?
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