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I've never actually heard a trans/NB/GNC person say "you're a bigot if you don't sleep with me" or anything close.
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Is it really "if you won't sleep with me" though, or is it, "if you categorically rule out being with anyone who's trans"?
The framing should be "consider why you'd categorically rule out trans people," and I grant it's sometimes presented more aggro than that
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"you're transphobic if you won't sleep with trans people" is not a good way to put it. And I'm sure it's sometimes put that way.
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But "you're a bigot if you won't sleep with me" is a caricature even of that
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Why must we even "consider?" We all simply like what we like, and don't owe anyone any explanation for our sexual preferences.
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It doesn't matter why. Who someone is interested in being with is personal
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