𝓝𝓪𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝓦𝔂𝓷𝓷  💎

THREAD RESUMED: what if my feeling of being "a man who wants to be a woman" went away if I transitioned?

What if I did HRT and tried to appear more female and used only female pronouns. Would I feel like a *real* woman then? I don't know!

I don't feel like a *real* man now! This is the psychological state that, for me, is non-binary.

I feel alienated from my male body, from male social and sexual roles. But I also still inhabit that body and some of those roles.

I often want to be a woman but I don't quite feel that I am one. So calling myself a woman feels merely aspirational--

--and calling myself a man ignores my own psychology.

Now there's also the issue of expression: genderqueerness can also be something you do: "queering" gender

Anyone can present as a genderfuck: but the reason for doing it matters. It could be for the sake of art or performance or to make a point.

Or, it could be an expression of how you actually experience your own gender. And then it's an expression of genderqueerness.

I still say "genderfuck" in my profile, but is that really what I am? It's not, really. It's rather my way of dealing with dissonance.

(Dissonance between my psychology and my body/society)

If I transitioned, if I decided to live as a woman, would I still have the need for genderfuckery? I honestly don't know.

So I guess my tentative conclusion is that genderqueerness might be temporary middle ground I occupy on the way to something else--

--BUT it might not be!

It could be a permanent ID. But I just don't know. I don't know what I'll be in 5 years.

Either way, I think it is a valid identity and should be respected as such.

But enough about me, let's talk about me