Let's use this to think through the right way to respond when someone accuses you of doing something transphobic (or racist, sexist, etc.)https://twitter.com/ContraPoints/status/823314850759712768 …
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So what I have is 95% of people saying I'm totally fine, don't worry about it. And it's tempting to believe them. However...
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(It's also tempting to get defensive when I'm called transphobic—"That's outrageous! All my best friends are trans! etc etc")
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However, it's better to avoid these temptations. Cis people don't usually have very good intuitions about what's transphobic.
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And the fact that I have trans friends & care deeply about trans issues doesn't mean that I'm invulnerable to being inadvertently offensive.
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I do think that calling *me* transphobic because of this is unfair.
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But when I asked, I discovered that "mangirl" is sometimes used as a slur. And I didn't know that. I thought I made it up to describe myself
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But if I'd known it was used as a slur, I would not have put in on my profile in the first place. And the only way I found out is by asking.
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So I think I should, in fact, remove it. Not because I capitulate to everyone who is offended, but because 1. there's at least a plausible..
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reason why it might come across the wrong way and 2. this is not something that's deeply important to me.
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There are people who think that crossdressing and drag are transphobic. I'm willing to fight for, though, because it's important to me...
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...and I think it can be done it a way that's respectful.
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But "mangirl" is just a word that—I thought—I made up to describe myself. So I think I should come up with something else.
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