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I certainly agree with this. https://twitter.com/EspenKulseth/status/797495267314585601 …
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It's generally unpersuasive to say, "you're a racist person," vs. "what you're saying is wrong and here's why."
True, but I rarely tell someone they're a racist person. I say "what you're saying is wrong" and they hear "you're a bigot!"
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So many people on the right and left have an existential fear of being seen as a racist that hampers any dialog.
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Yes, it's very difficult to ask people to be nice without alienating them with the insinuation they're not doing so already.
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See also: Angry Jack. "Bigots are bad. I'm not bad. Therefore I'm not ever bigoted. Therefore this person is wrong and mean."
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You can be a nice person and slip up sometimes, but people don't like feeling guilty, so can double down when confronted.
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