YouTuber, ex-philosopher 
Business email: info@contrapoints.com
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But when you're in conversation with straight men who think men who like trans women are, in virtue of that fact, gay, I think it helps to start with examples of trans women that they're likely to find comprehensible from the cis point of view.
I feel like I'm pushing the limits of cis toleration and understanding as is by being so forward about the "feminine penis" aspect. But it seems like a lot of trans people want me to push it even further to "hairy tops not on hormones can be women too"—which yes, yes they can!
But in view of the fact that most cis people don't really view ANY of us as women, I'm not sure that's the place to start, rhetorically speaking. But I'd be genuinely happy to be proved wrong!
When the conversation of whether it's "straight" for a cis man to have sex with a trans woman who looks almost exactly like him, the argument goes 5-D because it inherently deconstructs the very ideas of both sex and sexuality.
It becomes akin to arguing whether Venus is east or west of Mars.
I agree. I haven't started transitioning yet but that doesn't change my inner experience. Also - your stuff about the feminine penis has helped me feel a lot better about my uncertainty about whether I'll ever have bottom surgery. So I'm glad you've pushed that boundary.
One of the frustrations for me has been the unwillingness/squeamishness of a lot of trans-youtubers to discuss anything related to their genitals or sexuality. But for people who are still just looking at maps of the territory ahead that just makes it mysterious and scary.
You don’t push our limits. You expand them. Because your mesaage is one full of love.
Hi, I'm one of the "hairy tops" and I find it hilarious that trans Twitter is attacking you as exclusionary and a TERF when actual transphobes are raging at you for saying this. PS, could do without being reminded of the chest hair. It makes me dysphoric.
And that is exactly it. Rachel McKinnon said lesbians should be able to 'cope' with it. Almost like coping is the thing the already oppressed sex should be doing and that it's not gaslighting women, who, after all, should just get on with pleasing their partner...
They can, but, at some point, there are limits regarding what one has the right to ask of others.
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