YouTuber, ex-philosopher 
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There's also this background anxiety I have around what I said last night about the obligations of public representatives. I've had no choice but to take on the trans representative role since I came out, and as my platform grows so does that obligation.
And to be honest I'm often not sure I'm up to it. Everything I said about Singal's failures will at some point be said about me. Much of it already has. What does being a good representative involve in my case? Do I just visibly be myself? Or do I have to toe a more generic line?
I'm an abnormal trans person. I wasn't a trans child. I think of myself as transitioning from one gender to another rather than expressing an inherent essence. My sexual orientation has shifted with my transition. I have a performative, non-ontological view of what gender even is
Far from having "joined the transcult" I think I'm fairly heterodox. I was being serious yesterday when I said I like having nuanced freespeechy conversations about this kind of thing. But for the good of the community do I need to keep this shit to myself?
I know there will come a time where I'm accused of failing to be a good representative. And I guess I need to prepare myself for that so I'm mentally ready to handle it correctly.
In the meantime idk I guess my plan is to ease into a kind of generic yas-queening around on Twitter, and in my videos experiment with expressing some of my views in the voice of COMPLETELY FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.
I like to think that everyone just being themselves is fine (it's not like there's really another option), and no longer an issue once more than a few people are visible. It's important to show minority groups aren't homogenous. Different voices *should* flourish.
Representation is variety. It's the weirdos and the squares, it's seeing that there are many ways to be. Being visibly yourself is a radical thing. Also it gives you "authenticity", it makes your opinions and growth mean something real, and you WILL grow and change opinions
Be proud Nat. You do great insightful work. And if your drums are singing an offbeat tune, follow that.
In the words of the late Chris Cornell from Audioslave, “To be yourself is all that you can do.” Be as genuine and true to yourself and good things will follow. Those that turn on you for not toeing the party line never liked you in the first place.
If you have to change yourself to be a good representative, then the thing you are trying to represent is not really you. So I think you have to be yourself first, and only then think about representing.
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