What happens every time I drag someone on Twitter (until yesterday the last one was what, Arielle back in April?) is I waste an entire day on it and then am left with this emotional hangover, feeling I've accomplished nothing but igniting waves of anger and pain.
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There's also this background anxiety I have around what I said last night about the obligations of public representatives. I've had no choice but to take on the trans representative role since I came out, and as my platform grows so does that obligation.
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And to be honest I'm often not sure I'm up to it. Everything I said about Singal's failures will at some point be said about me. Much of it already has. What does being a good representative involve in my case? Do I just visibly be myself? Or do I have to toe a more generic line?
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I'm an abnormal trans person. I wasn't a trans child. I think of myself as transitioning from one gender to another rather than expressing an inherent essence. My sexual orientation has shifted with my transition. I have a performative, non-ontological view of what gender even is
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Far from having "joined the transcult" I think I'm fairly heterodox. I was being serious yesterday when I said I like having nuanced freespeechy conversations about this kind of thing. But for the good of the community do I need to keep this shit to myself?
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I know there will come a time where I'm accused of failing to be a good representative. And I guess I need to prepare myself for that so I'm mentally ready to handle it correctly.
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In the meantime idk I guess my plan is to ease into a kind of generic yas-queening around on Twitter, and in my videos experiment with expressing some of my views in the voice of COMPLETELY FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.
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End of conversation
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Natalie I know you'll not read the vast majority of tweets to you. I see you're stressing a bit, the self care parts you need put aside for a moment. I can imagine a calm Lilac bath, candles and wine. That seems you. Best wishes dear, from someone.
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washing your hands of the situation ( ie clarifying misunderstandings about your position) IS something good happening, imho
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Not sure washing one's hands is a bad move. There's no winning with these Left divides. That's why every hot femme skipped out on the whole sjw v. skeptic thing. Laci practically quit politics. But they were all just being smart. Wash like a queen,Natalie. Wash like a queen.
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