Student asked me who my favorite Mortal Kombat character is this morning, and I said I guess Kung Lao, but I realize I've never given this any thought
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SONYA BLADE Pros: +professional +punctual +cool sound-wave gun thing Cons: -pronounces Target as "Tarshay"
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MILEENA Pros: +can eat an entire burger in a single bite Cons: -is basically Dee from It's Always Sunny
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GORO Pros: +Can walk many dogs at the same time Cons: -Cannot pet any dogs without turning it into a Lennie Small situation
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SUB-ZERO Pros: +cool dad +can crack open a cold one with the boys anywhere he wants +unlike scorpion, has paid his boat off Cons: -does not know how to drive a boat
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RAIDEN Pros: +Can microwave anything between his hands Cons: -His eyes are white because he's blind
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LIU KANG Pros: +talented, but humble +bicycle kick! Cons: -the pants look real dated now
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STRYKER Pros: +Super easy character for beginners Cons: -his name is stryker. with a y -definitely does not turn on his bodycam
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KUNG LAO Pros: +Best character in Mortal Kombat Shaolin Monks +Consistently entertaining fatalities Cons: -Slices his hand open every time he tries to be polite to a lady
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NIGHTWOLF Pros: +radioactive ghost tomahawks Cons: -constantly mistaken for chief thunder from killer instinct -that's kinda on you, buddy
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SHANG TSUNG Pros: +Can shapeshift +played by Cary Tagawa in the movie Cons: -very unimpressive beard game -pretends to be an old man all the time because he's a frugal bastard
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End of conversation
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