Clue Heywood

Covid HUSSEIN 19

Arizona is wild y’all

Initial results: zero scorpions. Gonna have two more Titos and try again later.

Whenever I hear All Right by Christopher Cross I imagine him sailing away on a 26 foot sailboat from a Mexican cocaine deal that went bad in 1979, is that just me or

Burrata is just unripe mozzarella stuffed with ricotta but the lamestream media won’t tell you that

Going scorpion hunting again tonight, I am addicted to the chase

Ok I know this assumes that Zootopia has a fourth amendment, functioning courts, and centuries of jurisprudence, I should have been considerate of that before I swore in front of 100 children

Thinking about the time I took the stepson to see “Zootopia” and when the bunny cop said “you don’t need a warrant if you have probable cause” and I yelled “bullshit!” so loud I scared some kids

Hangover symptoms and early COVID symptoms are so similar that every morning of the lockdown has been a fun guessing game

Whenever I read a fortune cookie, at the end I add “...in these uncertain times”

We killed five of them, neighbor Mike has some chemical that makes them sting themselves to death, and we drank bourbon and watched them sting themselves to death here in the godforsaken desert and had a wonderful time, thanks Mike

Good and vodka drunk and gonna go scorpion hunting with my neighbor Mike, this should end really well