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ChuckWendig's profile
Chuck Wendig
Chuck Wendig
Chuck Wendig
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@ChuckWendig

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Chuck WendigVerified account

@ChuckWendig

Bestselling apple monster. Sundance Lab alum. Books: Wanderers, Miriam Black, Magic Skeleton. Soon: Book of Accidents (7/20), Dust & Grim (10/6). Strongbad avi.

Bucks County, PA
terribleminds.com
Joined March 2009

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    Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

    TRUMP: "I've decided to eat babies." PEOPLE: "He can't eat babies, that's super illegal." TRUMP, on TV, eating babies, not even cooking them first: "People are saying that I really am the best baby-eater, folks." NYT: "Trump Vs. Babies: The Rhetoric On Both Sides Must Stop"

    6:03 AM - 30 Oct 2018
    • 18,326 Retweets
    • 68,408 Likes
    • Diogenes's Lamp Laura Jenney Cesar Catherine Warren podroni Gobsmacked Plebe Norris Smith THE RED MODEL X 🔋 Groene Nick 🔋
    776 replies 18,326 retweets 68,408 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        Jeff Flake tweets: "It is a sad day in America when this callous man can eat babies live on TV" Jeff Flake, 10 seconds later, votes to help him install a series of 4,000 new judges that are very, very pro-babyphagia.

        25 replies 821 retweets 7,946 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        Judge Kavanaugh, found drunk in a Capitol Hill closet: "I LIKE BEER. OKAY? I LIKE BEER AND I LIKE BABIES AND THAT'S NOT SO WRONG. THAT'S RIGHT. I LIKE BABIES DIPPED IN BEER. I JUST DIP EM. IN THE BEER. THE BABIES. THE BABIES I EAT. OKAY? THAT'S AMERICA."

        21 replies 541 retweets 6,145 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        Mike Pence, wringing his hands about the baby-eating: "We must take care of our children. Our youngest must be protected on this troubling day." Mike Pence then invites a Baby Chef to say a prayer.

        16 replies 544 retweets 6,130 likes
        Show this thread
      5. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        Twitter Users: "It's a distraction technique! Trump eating babies is trying to DISTRACT YOU from ALL THE OTHER HORRORS, which are themselves distractions from the BABY-EATING. It's DISTRACTIONS ALL THE WAY DOWN." Trump: *eats tons of babies at a rally* *literal tons of babies*

        14 replies 500 retweets 5,181 likes
        Show this thread
      6. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        Twitter user BABYGATEMAGA349857239847: "it's about ethics in baby eating" Twitter user EATLIBERALBABIES98342U5293485823742: "eatin babbies to own the soy cuck npcs Twitter user TRUMPTRAINDIAPERDAVE78452394638476923645982: "i am def real not robotski"

        12 replies 406 retweets 4,508 likes
        Show this thread
      7. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        Jack at Twitter: "Recently it has come to our attention that Twitter has become a haven for troubling discourse regarding the preparation and gustatory ingesting of human babies, so we have decided to remove Animated GIFs to address this issue. We fixed it. America is fixed now."

        16 replies 663 retweets 6,554 likes
        Show this thread
      8. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        Ivanka and the Kush: "We strongly condemn baby-eating." Trump: *opens a chain of baby-eating restaurants, Ivanka runs it, each baby is branded with the presidential seal, each sale goes toward his 2028 reelection campaign*

        16 replies 461 retweets 4,960 likes
        Show this thread
      9. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        every alt-right clowndick: "The Democrats are the ones eating the babies! False flag operation! The babies are liberals who are eating themselves! They're crisis actor babies!"

        14 replies 460 retweets 5,273 likes
        Show this thread
      10. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        two days later, every GOP politician: "The Democrats are the ones eating the babies! False flag operation! The babies are liberals who are eating themselves! They're crisis actor babies! Also we're just handing bags of money and babies to the wealthiest 1% of Americans now."

        12 replies 375 retweets 4,382 likes
        Show this thread
      11. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        CNN: "We have received troubling threats that our babies will be eaten. We will respond to this in the strongest of terms, which is by inviting four white Trump shills onto a panel hosted by human gymsock, Chuck Todd. Commence the healing."

        21 replies 399 retweets 4,640 likes
        Show this thread
      12. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        some shithead pundit somefuckingwhere: "I wasn't going to vote for Trump or the GOP, but the Democrats' incivility over disagreeing with all this baby-eating has convinced me to vote for them. Tut-tut, I say. TUT. TUT."

        8 replies 444 retweets 4,882 likes
        Show this thread
      13. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        NYT Opinion: "Baby-Eating Has Become Too Polarized"

        18 replies 434 retweets 4,484 likes
        Show this thread
      14. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        Chuck Schumer: "I've cut a deal where I give Trump 17 more pro-babyphagia judges, and also, I've gifted the president with a Harry & David gift basket of babies." Press: "What did you get in return?" Schumer: "I was supposed to get something in return?"

        11 replies 417 retweets 4,809 likes
        Show this thread
      15. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        Sarah Sanders, after months of pressure: "The White House condemns in the strongest of terms the act of baby-eating." Trump, at a rally that night: "Folks, folks, I still eat babies, I ate a baby right before I came out here. I eat them like pizza, with a fork and knife."

        20 replies 379 retweets 4,204 likes
        Show this thread
      16. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        Holographic advertisement poster projected on the exterior wall of one of the Smithfield Baby Farms, 2024: BABIES: THE OTHER OTHER WHITE MEAT

        28 replies 249 retweets 3,366 likes
        Show this thread
      17. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 30 Oct 2018

        Boston Dynamics robots boogie to Uptown Funk as they hunt wild babies on behalf of wealthy Baby Hunters on safari in the ruined wasteland of America, 2034. A newspaper blows in front of them, NYT: BABY-EATING: IT COULDN'T HAPPEN HERE It blows away, on the dust, and is gone.

        191 replies 418 retweets 4,918 likes
        Show this thread
      18. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 13 Jun 2019

        Joe Biden appears out of a wasteland hole. "Folks. Folks. Soon as Trump's gone, all the baby-eating will stop. The Republicans are just eating babies because he's eating babies. It's like Godzilla -- he's their alpha. They just need a new alpha. Me."

        3 replies 126 retweets 1,341 likes
        Show this thread
      19. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 13 Jun 2019

        Nancy Pelosi broadcasts from her secret bunker: "We feel that Emperor Robo-Trump eating all the world's babies is a self-correcting problem. He's SELF-IMPEACHING and surely we will win the Cannibal Thunderdome match in 2042 to regain control of The Wasteland."

        21 replies 362 retweets 2,140 likes
        Show this thread
      20. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 13 Jun 2019

        The Today Show, broadcast over tinny speakers from the Baby-Harvesting Dreadnoughts that hover over America in dark, hurricane-swept hell-clouds: "Robo-Jessica Biel Re-Ignites Baby-Eating Debate. Tune in to America Channel Zero to join the conversation."

        8 replies 66 retweets 1,141 likes
        Show this thread
      21. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 23 Jun 2019

        Chuck Todd, interviewing Robo-Trump inside the Wasteland White House: Chuck Todd: “So, the economy —“ Trump: “I eat so many babies you wouldn’t believe it. A baby said to me the other day, ‘Sir, we thank you for eating us, you’re the best at baby-eating.’” Chuck Todd: “Okay!”

        15 replies 114 retweets 1,410 likes
        Show this thread
      22. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 5 Jul 2019

        BREAKING: Suprememost Court of the Unending Wasteland gargles uranium after issuing a judgment that Robo-Trump can’t eat babies. Trump eats babies anyway, hastily scrawls executive order in crayon, saying, “The Founding Fathers did not liberate Canada’s airports for nothing.”

        13 replies 110 retweets 1,246 likes
        Show this thread
      23. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 17 Jul 2019

        Emperor Robo-Trump today condemned those rebels who label him a “baby-eater,” but appeared to literally be eating babies as he made this statement. Local Wasteland newspaper THE DEFECATOR published an op-ed: “Why Trump eating babies does not necessarily make him a ‘baby-eater’”

        5 replies 80 retweets 920 likes
        Show this thread
      24. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 17 Jul 2019

        Local response from Wasteland Rebels known as The Squad responded with: “He’s literally eating babies right now. He eats them like popcorn. Even as he claimed to not eat babies he had his cheeks stuffed with babies. He had a sack of them under the podium. It was labeled BABBYS.”

        11 replies 65 retweets 911 likes
        Show this thread
      25. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 23 Sep 2019

        Pelosi issues a statement from her Wasteland Bunker: "Trump's recent baby-eating rampage represents a new phase in his eating of babies. The Wasteland Council will meet to determine if we need to issue a strongly-worded postcard with the words NO and STOP EATING BABIES upon it."

        19 replies 150 retweets 1,163 likes
        Show this thread
      26. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 23 Sep 2019

        TRUMP: *opens mechanical jaws, eats dumpster full of babies* WASTELAND COUNCIL: Shocked to learn that he's eating babies, after decades of baby-eating. TRUMP: *eats more babies* COUNCIL: Still shocked! TRUMP: *barfs up babies to make room for more babies* COUNCIL: SHOCKED

        14 replies 157 retweets 1,141 likes
        Show this thread
      27. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 23 Sep 2019

        NYT Opinion Piece: "But what if Joe Biden also eats babies? I mean, we don't have any evidence of it, but shit, it could be true. Maybe his son strangles kittens. We should probably look into this."

        6 replies 110 retweets 1,180 likes
        Show this thread
      28. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 23 Sep 2019

        ELIZABETH WARREN: "I have a plan for that. And that plan is, we dethrone the Robotic Hell Emperor who is eating the babies. That's it. That's the plan. It's just one step. We can do it!" NYT: "LOCAL WASTELAND SCHOOLMARM FAILS LIKABILITY TEST"

        35 replies 237 retweets 2,142 likes
        Show this thread
      29. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 26 Sep 2019

        ROBO-TRUMP: "I've released a transcript that proves I don't eat babies." *transcript details an elaborate 'quid pro quo' blackmail baby-buying scheme where Emperor Trump demands bushels of 'only the best dessert babies' from nearby Bunkertowns and Mutant Enclaves*

        3 replies 24 retweets 503 likes
        Show this thread
      30. Chuck Wendig‏Verified account @ChuckWendig 26 Sep 2019

        WASTELAND COUNCIL LEADER PELOSI: "We have decided that 4 million babies eaten is one baby too many, and we have begun our Investigation into the Emperor." NYT: WE INTERVIEWED SEVEN VERY IMPARTIAL HILL CANNIBAL 'SWING VOTERS' WHO SAY BABY-EATING IS FINE, NANCY

        29 replies 42 retweets 694 likes
        Show this thread
      31. End of conversation

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