One of the things I’ve been a bit surprised about is how little I’ve been seeing about anger as a challenging effect of trauma. By far the hardest part of the past two years for me has been dealing with anger that’s no longer repressible but not yet integrated.https://twitter.com/mattgoldenberg/status/1221615662956720129 …
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Personally I got a lot of value out of the model that anger is stagnating clarity - it was energy that once had direction and purpose but got interrupted en-route. So one can ask themselves, what is the original clarity behind this anger? What truth, what fear, what is its basis?
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I’ve gotten a bunch of micro shifts from stuff like that — e.g. trying to reframe complaints or rumination as “things would be concretely better if XYZ”, doing 5 elements-based stuff, etc. It’s all been helpful, but it hasn’t really shifted the basic pattern that much.
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Is there someone you *should* hit?
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BRB, tracking down some HS bullies.
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It’s also been tough on my relationship with my wife. Despite getting really good at not letting action urges encourage me to do anything dangerous, threatening, or insulting, she’s still found me just being really angry with her corrosive to our relationship.
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I direct most of my anger towards myself instead of others, so accessing it and giving it targets outside me is a very liberating first step
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