This dad is getting a lot of hate, and he shouldn't. His is a COMMON experience. Mine is different, however know the risks. A thread....about why I'm glad I waited to have kids until my late 30's.pic.twitter.com/kJyCSn8qbm
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I did not have kids because I wanted to - Lift weights - Write a great book - Travel - Party I did all of that, and it was great, and don't trust anyone who said it's not. And then I decided to start a family....Which shows me another world.
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Once you have children, and again, my first daughter is two and it's incredible. It is really hard to get "deep work" done. A man's best and more creative work is done after days or weeks of solitude. You can say goodbye to this.https://theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/ …
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Once you're a parent, a lot of your time is wiping butts, cleaning up messes. And the emotional needs your partner will have. Moms put INSANE (literally the propaganda fed to moms is absolutely unrealistic and self-defeating) pressure on themselves, and that flows over to dad.
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So you go from a bro who can do whatever he wants, doesn't need much cash and can tell anyone to f-ck off....to your time is highly regimented and your child has needs as does a partner. And a parter is where most men go waaaay wrong.
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Men get goo-goo eyes for a pretty lady (being heteronormative cuz that's my audience). But my guys, you're not marrying a woman. You're marrying your child's MOM. What you find fun is much different than good VALUES.
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Yes I love
@ShaunaGee and all of that, but the Western world romanticizes love. If you're going to have children - Does she want to be a mom? - Are her parents going to be involved? - Do your parents share YOUR values? Those are the issues men overlook, and it hurts later!Show this thread -
But most men are DORKS, they find the first girl who "loves them back," and they just get married cuz they are afraid of losing The One. And suddenly they are having children, and their lives implode. Because they didn't choose a MOTHER for their children. Now its Hell.
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A healthy relationship is NOT 50-50. It's 90-10 and 90-10. Mom runs her side and Dad runs his. But everyone thinks everything is 50-50, a f-cking committee.
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Also, parents are stressed because life is stressful. Children present a fixed economic cost. Every month you gotta meet rent, and all of that. And you are lose TIME FREEDOM. In those ways, worst of both worlds. You're broke and can't do what you want.
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Children required PATIENCE. But people are f-cking addicts - Addicted to phones - Addicted to food - Addicted to weed, entertainment Everything is prime shipping. Modern life hard wires us away from the most important parenting skill. Patience.
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Children test your patience, and most adults aren't prepared to handle this. Look at how people freak out over the stupidest shit in real life, and the stuff people cry about. How can they handle a child's tantrum?
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Most Americans aren't mentally or physically prepared to have children. They haven't "grown up" themselves. Hence their misery. However as someone who has done it all and YOLO's hard, I love it. Too many daily joys to count. But know that your life WILL change and HOW it will.
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P.S. Most men have a mid-life crisis because they (delusional) believe they could have had a different path. Like they woulda been Cobra Tate if they had wanted. There is a lot of media pressure on women to "settle," and that's actually not bad advice, but also true for men!
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End of conversation
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It really struck me a while back when
@StefanMolyneux talked about how he'd been writing something like one book or novel every year or two for a long while... And then his daughter was born. Next book was, what, 10 years later? - 1 more reply
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Do you feel like social media contact — or even roommates — interrupts that period of solitude required for deep work?
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Not if you’re an early riser That’s the key to this I wake up very early before everyone else and in that time I’m FREE It’s so precious. Hard but worth it!
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I have 5 kids Mike...
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You had twins?
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