I appreciate the effort shown

As I'm coming back into my body, after all this time as NB/Masc, I'm finding a really distressing side effect. I want to have a child, but I wasted so many years, I think it's too late. It's hard.

I've always avoided any media that had anything to do with pregnancy. And it's only really now that I'm starting to come back into my body that I'm realising why - I never felt female enough.

It didn't help that the couple of times I tried, when I was younger, I couldn't fall pregnant. Tried metformin to improve fertility, but no game. Now with covid, it'll be a long time before I can explore anything fertility related, and by then it might be too late.

I wasted the years that I was most likely to have success to transness. I didn't even care at the time. Though, someone said to me recently, on the fact I always said I didn't want kids; "You said that, but I could tell you didn't really mean it"

Anyway, thats my grim mood for the evening.