I appreciate the effort shown

Carey, I realise that reading a few tweets isn’t real insight, but all of these seem like acting out driven by feelings of betrayal, abandonment and anger. Family breakups are difficult psychological experiences for kids especially if they’re not managed well by the parents.

But as the outside to the family, does it actually do anyone any good to hang out for kids acting out if the parents aren’t making the changes the kids need to feel safe? Like, limits and structure?

It wouldn’t make me feel safe as a 10 year old to know no one would have a reaction if I talked about killing myself. So if the parents aren’t doing the stuff that helps the kids feel safe, is there any benefit to anyone for me hanging out to be the scapegoat?

That’s the point, those feelings didn’t come from nowhere, they are a cry for someone to listen. If they are not getting the appropriate support from their parents, a new person in this picture intervening isn’t always the best since it’s their relationship with their parents

That has produced the emotional needs that aren’t being met.

It sounds tough, and certainly nobody should put up with unacceptable behaviour, but I think you have already recognised that if the cause isn’t being treated and the symptoms are being brushed off that puts you in a difficult position.