This culture is very anti-regret, but of all the emotions regret is such a blessing. It clarifies so much about what you really desire and how you want to operate.
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The defenses against regret are so dangerous, they keep you tracked in other people’s stories that separate you from who you want to be.
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I was brought up to value the ability to ignore hurtful comments. That story- that it is a sign of maturity or sanity or something to let hurtful comments go- has led to some of the moments in life I regret most.
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not ignoring them (or otherwise retaliating) takes hard work -- v excruciating for families as well ...not losing it in tears of grief or anger but seeking grace to get thru it
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