Wedding planning makes me feel v disoriented and inept regarding my gender role.
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Well, it’s a lot of expectations and hopes from the ppl closest to me. Everyone understands why the fiancee has no interest in spending time planning this, but ppl expect I’m psyched to plan this thing, especially the aesthetics.
I never dreamed about a wedding. My main opinion about flowers is “what flower situation will not give me grief that weekend?” My main goal is me and the fiancée and the family all being photographed in clothes that fit us.
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The fiancée says “what’s important is you get the wedding you want” but the wedding I want is me waking up that day and someone else having done all the work, leaving me out of the discussions entirely and telling me where to go.
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I got married to my husband by a justice of the peace. I wore a (lovely) pant suit. For some reason it didn't occur to me to wear a dress. Zero pressure, nearly zero planning. Booked a date, showed up in her office, done. Went out for dinner with family & friends. Married 25 yrs.
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